January 9th, 2012

I started a new “diet” on Monday.  Ugh.  I really hate the word “diet”.  It’s just “die” with a “t”, sort of reminding me of Christ’s crucifixion.  Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess I could use the word “diet” as I am crucifying all of my old habits.  I hit the scale at 220.4lbs.  That seems to be my magic number.  This new thing that I’m doing appears to be working.  I’m down 2.4lbs in just 24 hours.  I wasn’t even hungry yesterday!  I ate plenty of veggies, protein, and yogurt.  Even drank a crapload of green tea.  I love tea so that’s nothing new for me.  Seeing the number on the scale has strengthen my resolve to remain committed to this “diet”.

I’ve cut out Starbucks too.  Boy, was I tempted to go today!  I’ve decided to save my money and consider it to be a treat.  I’ve also got to come up with a new system of rewarding myself.  My typically habit is to reward myself with food items when I’ve reached certain weight loss goals.  That’s detrimental, don’t you think?  Besides, Leroy and I eat out way too much.  WAAAAAYYY too much!  Needless to say, I could use some input on this.  Please help with ideas?  I’d really appreciate it!

  • GOAL #1:  Complete the first 17 days of the diet (haha!  Yes, I’m doing the 17-Day Diet.) – REWARD:  Starbucks drink of my choice
  • GOAL #2:  25lbs gone – REWARD:  Get my nails done (haven’t done that in forever!)
  • GOAL #3:  Complete 3 cycles of the 17-Day Diet – REWARD:  New workout outfit
  • GOAL #4:  50lbs gone – REWARD:  Purchase a new DVD/movie of my choice (Leroy can suck it up if I get a random chick flick!)
  • GOAL #5:  Complete 100 days on diet – REWARD:  Massage at spa
  • GOAL #6:  75lbs gone – REWARD:  New freaking WARDROBE!!!!

Are these good rewards?  75lbs is only 5lbs from my actual goal/dream weight.  I’m not sure how much of a difference 5lbs would make weight-wise when it comes to clothes.

New Year = New Plan

I’ve given myself the freedom to eat whatever I want between now and the day after I return from Canada.  I haven’t gained any weight nor have I lost any.  This year, my only resolution is to learn how to commit to myself and see life through.

Vitamins, especially B

I stopped taking all my vitamins a while back.  It got to be frustrating remembering what to take when.

I did notice that my hair was falling out.  Not a few strands here and there, but clumps.  So I decided to start taking B-2, B-6, B-50 complex, and sublingual B-12.  I have been taking these every morning for the last week.  BIG DIFFERENCE!  HUGE!  My hair isn’t falling out anymore.  Maybe one or two strands when I shower but not the clumps I was having!  (insert happy dance here)

I never would have guessed that my body is deprived of B vitamins.

I am taking it slow with the supplements.  I want to see how my body reacts when certain things are being put into it.  Now, I’ve figured out that B vitamins resolved my hair loss issue, I will try another vitamin next week to see what is going on with it.  I’m watching carefully.  I did add iron back in and I take that at night.  My body definitely needs iron.  I can tell in the morning.  (Too much iron turns the poop black.)  I just hope my body is actually absorbing what I need.  That is always an issue.


Well, I really haven’t been.  At least not here.

I have learned quite a bit over the last couple of months.  The biggest thing I’ve learned is how noncommittal I really am.  I can’t commit to diet and exercise.  I can commit to my husband and marriage vows.  I can commit to my school work.  I can commit to taking care of Munchkin but I cannot for the life of me, commit to myself and getting healthy.

It’s sad.  So very sad.  I am now on a journey to making my brain match my body and learning how to commit.  Until then, anything goes!

I’m going to relax on food and exercise until after the first of the year, when I come home from Canada.  There are a few goals to be had and I will probably join the rest of the world in making New Year’s resolutions.  Here’s the caveat though:  I’m going to learn how to commit to myself.  Do I have a choice?  Probably.  Is it a goal I should make?  Yes, most definitely!  I truly believe that if I cannot take care of myself, then I cannot take care of anyone else.  I need to start living that motto.

Here are some brief goals for 2012:

  1. Build endurance for walking all over Europe (May)
  2. Look sleek in a bathing suit for Honduras (Christmas)
  3. Shopping spree (October)
  4. Get outdoors more (Summer – all summer long)

Now, hubby and I have agreed to purchase new wardrobes in the fall.  What he hasn’t figured out yet is that I want to make it into a mini vacation and do the shopping at Mall of America.  That’s completely do-able but it won’t be worth it if I am still fitting into the same clothes I have now!

Start believing and don’t stop…  Until I’m committed.

Dang near a month has past…

Confession #1:  I’ve been lazy.  I gained 5lbs and was admittedly, too embarrassed to share that tidbit of information.

Confession #2:  I haven’t cared about anything other than my piss-poor attempt (see #1) to raise my grade in a certain class.

Confession #3:  I blame Thanksgiving Detroit anyone but myself.  Tragic, isn’t it?
The cool thing about the travel aspect of my trip to Detroit (and back) was that I was able to figure out some goals and a game plan.  I wrote it all down in a little notebook.  While I don’t have that notebook handy, this is what it primarily looks like:


  1. Finish grad school
  2. Attend a figure competition
  3. Run a marathon (body willing!)
  4. Participate in a triathlon of sorts (sprint, ironman, whatever)
  5. Participate in a figure competition
  6. Have surgery to remove excess skin (there’s more that I would have guessed!)
  7. Maybe have a baby

The baby thing isn’t too high on my priority list.  In truth, I’d rather spoil Munchkin and my Nephew/Niece (ETA: late June/early July!)  But I put it out there.  I honestly don’t know what God has planned for me and rather than argue with the Big Man Upstairs, I’m just going to ride on some pearly coattails.

Now, I’m pretty sure you’re asking what a “figure competition” is.  It’s sort of like a beauty pageant except everyone has muscles and are presented on stage in a bikini.  It’s about fitness (exercise, physique) more than pageantry (I want end hunger, encourage literacy, and world peace, Bob).  It sounds like a lot of work and whimsy!  Duh, of course it’s going to be work.  The question is, Am I ready for it?

I do have a list of my 10 year goals but those can wait.

The game plan started today.  Officially.  I did do some testing of it last week.  The end results are that I’ve taken off a few of the lbs I gained in Detroit.

I’ll try to remember to post my workout tomorrow.  If it gets to be around late afternoon, would someone shoot me an email to remind me?  Thanks!

Happy lifting!

New Toy!

Wow!  I need to post more often!  Just saying, ya’ll!

I bought a BodyMedia FIT Advantage to help with my weight loss.  It’s the same exact thing as a BodyBugg and you can see the people on Biggest Loser wearing them.  I’m going to try it for a couple of weeks, to see how well it works.  The concept is rather cool.  You can wear it up to 23 hours a day but it’s not waterproof.  That means you shouldn’t bathe or swim with it on.  I’m pretty sure they are working on a waterproof design for those who swim.  That would be AWESOME!!!!  I’d steal a pic from online to show you but if you’re reading this, then you know how to Google.  I will warn you though, the thing does come with a subscription that you have to pay for.  It’s anywhere from $6.95/mo for a 12-mo sub or $12.95 for a month by month basis.

Sorry for the shortness but I want to get to the gym and see how well this thing works!

A friend asked for Tilapia recipes.  I’ll post one later.

Victoria Really Doesn’t Have Any Secrets

Nope, she doesn’t.  I bought them ALL!!!!

I have recently become a Victoria’s Secret whore.  Since my boobs fit into their bras and my butt cheeks are happily covered by their panties, I have become a glutton for the label.  My husband, on the other hand, wishes I hadn’t.  Oh don’t get me wrong, he appreciates the view but would rather I didn’t feel the need to share the cleavage.  That’s not to say that I don’t cover my assets – I do!  It’s winter (I live in ND and it’s after Halloween so close enough!)

But there’s something about a pretty bra with matching panties that can make a woman feel good about herself.  Right?  Ladies, you cannot tell me that you feel your best in worn out, sagging bras with broken underwire and holey underwear.  You what?  You haven’t bought anything sexy in how long?  Dang!  It’s time for a trip to the mall!

It’s sort of like wearing makeup.  Some women never leave the house without an inch of cosmetics plastered on their face.  Others could careless about their appearance.  I’m not saying that we should always go out dressed in furs and diamonds.  That would be ridiculous and extremely time consuming and expensive (not everyone owns a fur coat but I’m pretty sure we all have at least 1 diamond – ahem!  Wedding ring! I cannot believe I had to point that out.)

Now what was I saying?  Ah, yes!  I was distracted by the mere thought of furs and diamonds…  What does it take for someone to feel their best?  I think when we look good on the outside, a simple compliment can spark how we feel on the inside.  For me, blow drying my hair and putting on mascara and lipstick makes me feel good, even when I hate myself on the inside.  Somebody is bound to tell me that I’m pretty and it always happens.  Sometimes it doesn’t even need to be verbally express.

Oh heck!

I’m gorgeous and I know it!

P.S.  Nobody knows what I’ve got on under my clothes anyhow!

First of the Month!

Which means you get pictures!

Weight:  215.6lbs

Bicep (rt):  13

Chest:  36

Waist (at belly button): 43

Hips: 49

Thigh (rt):  22.25

Calf (rt):  15.5

Next measurement date: November 24, 2011

I’ve been alternating days with Jillian but I haven’t done any of her videos since Thursday due to my wrist.  She does a lot of floor exercises like plank and pushups and the pain in my wrist is not tolerable when I do those things.  I have been doing great with water!  What’s killing me lately is the strong desire to eat after 7pm.  I do it if I’m active, like bowling or dancing but for the most part, I try to make sure I get all of my food in before 7pm.

Leroy found some jeans in our storage unit.  One is a pair of 16’s and the other is a size 14 that I bought at JCP a couple of years ago for $1.97.  Um…  they both FIT!!!  That’s pretty exciting for me.  What I’m not sure about is that they both are wide leg.  One of them is extremely wide.

He also found my leather jacket, which is a size 14 and it fits too!  All sorts of excitement happening over here! I’ve got to keep up my hard work though.  The goal is to healthy enough to walk all over Switzerland, Italy, and France!  Bon Chance!

Now, for the pictures!

As you can see, my sides are looking thinner.




















I opted for bra and shorts this time to give you a better view of my physiological perspective as it morphs into what I desire.  What you can’t see is the definition and shape of my legs along with the delineation of my triceps that are now taking place.

Since I just woke up and munchkin will be here shortly, I must sign off and eat.  Until next time, stay healthy!

How Life is Going

Well, I went off track the last few days.  I ate stuff that I shouldn’t have.  I’m paying for it now.

Week 2 with Jillian is winding down.  Due to my gym membership obligations, I’ve decided to cut back on Miss Jillian.  I’m doing 3 days with her and 3 days at the gym.  Alternating, of course.  It seems to be working fairly well.  Now if I could only get my eating habits on track.  It’s not so much that I’ve overeating but rather, I don’t always make the best choices for food.  As good as something tastes, it’s kicking my butt in the weight department.  I keep starting my day off right but then it goes downhill after breakfast.  I’ll get it right one of these days.  Until then, I will keep trying.

Sorry this is so short but I have to get some reading done.

Let’s Talk About R-n-Y…

R-n-Y is “roux-en-Y”, a fancy French term for “gastric bypass”.  I had gastric bypass in May 2004.  Before I could consider the surgery, I had to have a series of procedures.  Wait – I had never once thought of the procedure for losing weight!  Rather, I was told by my doctor at a military facility, that if I did not have this surgery, I only had about another year, maybe two, to live.  I didn’t get that.  My blood pressure was good, my cholesterol was excellent (for an extremely fat person), other than my weight, she said I was the “healthiest fat person she’s ever met.”  Okay then!  What gives that I have to have this surgery?

I had a heart attack on the table during my breast reduction surgery.  No real reason other than my heart stopped during that surgery.  I had a stroke of sorts earlier that year too.

On May 19, 2004, I weighed 352lbs for the last time.  I went into surgery and came out a different person.  I wasn’t any lighter, mind you.  I still have all my “parts”.  Basically, when gastric bypass is done, all the doctor is doing is making your stomach into a pouch that doesn’t hold very much.  It bypasses the gallbladder and forms what looks like a golf ball attached to two poles.  You still have your cardiac sphincter but your pyloric sphincter is completely open.  The cardiac sphincter is the “door” between your esophagus and your stomach.  The pyloric sphincter is at the bottom end of your stomach and allows access to the duodenum, colon, etc.  Both, when in a normal state, open and close to allow the passage of consumables when necessary.  Since the pyloric is constantly open after gastric bypass, food must be chewed to a puree (talk about a sore jaw!) otherwise a backup in the pouch will occur and this causes quite a bit of discomfort!  Vomiting becomes an issue at this point and without the gallbladder being attached, the stomach is not able to receive the bile necessary to breakdown the food for passage.

Did you know that the stomach is actually a muscle?  It acts like a garbage disposal by “grinding” up food into small particles.  The stomach does not actually do much absorption of nutrients.  That particular feat is accomplished in the intestines!

Moving on to the beginning process of R-n-Y…

First, most people have to undergo a psychological exam.  I aced this with no problems as the crucial factor in this exam is the understanding of how the surgery works and the risks involved.  I have a strange view of death, so I understood all the risks involved with having any surgery.  I flat out told the doctor that I know there is the risk of death but that I could easily die from crossing the street if a car runs a red light or isn’t paying attention to its surroundings.  My appointment lasted less than 30 minutes.

Second, I had to have a battery of physical tests.  One was a breathing test.  I was put in a machine where they tested the capacity of my lungs.  Granted, I cannot play an instrument for very long but I’ve got pretty strong lungs.  Another test was gastrointestinal.  I had to swallow some nasty, chalky semi-liquid stuff (hey, there were chunks in it!) and then pictures were taken of how my stomach processed the “food”.  Blech.  I also had to hop on a treadmill and do a physical fitness test.  Fun.  Oh, and bloodwork galore!  I was getting poked nearly every week!  That really helped my fear of needles!

Finally, after the last science experiment exam was complete, surgery was scheduled!

Now, what they don’t tell you is how crappy you’re going to feel.  They don’t tell you that the surgery is a TOOL, not a “cure-all”.  They don’t tell you that your stomach will stretch back out to where you can eat normal portions (ahem! Not the gigantic super-size me portions but a humanly normal portion).  After surgery, I was on a limited diet of soft, bland food.  I was supposed to be on it for a month then slow introduce other stuff.  I waited two weeks then had some steak and asparagus.  Yeah, not happening, dude.  I wasn’t ready for it but the steak managed to stay down.  The pain of it was excruciating though.  That first month, I lost 48lbs.  That was from the time I left the hospital.  The nurses weighed me every day.  The day after surgery, I ballooned to about 370, thanks to the saline and IV stuff they were giving me.  The day I left, I was down 28lbs.  From there I lost the additional 48.  Nice!

I still have eating issues from time to time.  I never know what my stomach will allow me to keep down.  For example, last night’s dinner of a fabulous turkey patty, sweet potato fries, and asparagus didn’t sit well with me.  I enjoyed it and at most of it but I was in pain the remainder of the night.  Until…  Nevermind, you don’t need to hear about that and I think you get the picture.  I didn’t have allergies to anything before but now I do and I’m lactose intolerant.  Those are just a couple of the side effects from gastric bypass.

Anyone who’s had R-n-Y understands the issues.  If you are considering this surgery, please don’t hesitate to ask me questions or even better, ask your doctor to give you the truth about the life after surgery!